This is how I feel these days. I mean, not all day, every day, but most days that I spend at the gym, I get this kind of tough girl, mentality.
It’s funny, really. Even a year and a half ago, there were days that I didn’t feel like even getting off the couch, and we’re talking like 3ish years into this! That’s not my mindset at all anymore. Now, I feel like I can accomplish pretty much anything that I put my mind to, and I’m bringing that with me to the weight room at the gym, which, if you’ve spent much time at most gyms, you may have noticed, is a male dominated area, and can feel pretty intimidating. There are days when I go to lift, that I feel like I get zero respect on that weight room floor..not with my space, not when I’m checking my form in the mirror, not when I’m trying to do a set on something and someone just jumps in..it can be frustrating, trust me, but then there are days when I can really get a great workout in, no-one is stepping in front of me, everyone is nice..those days keep me from turning tail and running out of there, feeling like the old me. The unaccepted me. The judged me. The (yes..going there!..) FAT me.
That old mentality is not easy to shake, because it’s lived with me for forty-something years, and she has been known to rear her head occasionally. For me, I’ve learned that we have an enemy, here on earth, and he will do anything he can to make us live out our lives in a cesspool of self doubt, and self destructive behavior. Every day, I have to be intentional with my actions. I know me, and I know that I need my God time more than anything else..it’s like my gym time, and I have recently learned that if I go without that, I turn into this awful, snarky person (again..human!!) I guess my point is, don’t give up when you get a little down on yourself, or if someone doesn’t give you what you need in that moment. Just keep swimming, keep moving forward, whatever you do, don’t stop, because trust me, (FIVE YEARS…) getting yourself started back up is so much harder than just pushing thru whatever it is you’re feeling. You have the ability to choose to believe in you, and whatever it is you’re shooting for! Today, I’m going for Dauntless!! ( I hope you have seen the Divergent movies, otherwise this may seem odd ha!)